"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
