Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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