i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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