Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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