So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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