Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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