My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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