At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
