fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize