Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
