Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
