: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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