suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
