My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
