doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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