He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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