It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
