Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
