Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
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