the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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