508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
