So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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