I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize