Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
