I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
