I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
