And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
