Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
