Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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