He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
