he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
