Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
PANTIES FOUND
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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