I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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