Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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