Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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