even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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