Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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