Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
