Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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