yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
