Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
time to smoke my breakfast
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
