Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
