if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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