i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
PANTIES FOUND
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