You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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