sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
