May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
