if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize