I look better un-naked...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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