god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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