PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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