Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
