i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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