i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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