in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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