Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Randomize
