There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
