Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
