Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize