I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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