He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
