Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Gay?
German.
Pity.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
