call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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